In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
