He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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