I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
she told me i tasted like america
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
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