so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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