I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize