As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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