What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I had to cum in my sink.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
