You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
