I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize