just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
