I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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