oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
