I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
