"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
ok first of all what the fuck
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
