I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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