thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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