3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
