I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
