you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
