When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
