did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
