I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
