At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
