Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
