Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
