Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
