After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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