i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
