Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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