my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Two words: nipple clamps
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