I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
