just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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