Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
