I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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