Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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