I like my sex mixed with concussions.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
