you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
