I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
