In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
