well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
