she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
