Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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