sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
