everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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