That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
