Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
