i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
try to milk me bitch
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