I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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