Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
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