just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
